The word estrangement was never in my vocabulary before it happened to me seven years ago. But once I started researching, I realized I'm not alone just search the word "estranged" on Facebook and dozens of support groups pop up, including mine. We both like hiking and photography, so we would spend time together doing those activities.
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No one talks about family estrangement and I think it is important we do. This is my story of how it felt when my daughter stopped speaking to me for what seemed an eternity. And how I strove for reconciliation.
A couple of years ago my daughter chose to stop speaking to me. My only child. It was unexpected. She refuses to believe that I love her immensely and respect the hell out of her.
I lived in an unhealthy family for more than 40 years, but I didn't make the choice to "break up" with my parents overnight. For most people, it's unimaginable for a grown man or woman to choose to stop all contact with their parents. The people who provided food, clothes, and shelter, attended dance recitals, volunteered at school, or cheered from the bleachers during every Friday night's football game don't deserve to be abandoned in their old age just because they made some parenting mistakes, right?
Verified by Psychology Today. Constructive Wallowing. You did everything you could to help them get along in life.
Mothering is like that. Not too long ago, one of my children was estranged from me. It was not how I envisioned a relationship with an adult child.
If you are estranged from your adult child, if your child has cut you out of his or her life—whether for a long or short time—it is a gut-wrenching experience. When your child cuts you out of her life it provokes deep feelings of shame, guilt, bewilderment, and hurt, all of which can easily turn to anger. Sometimes, of course, there are circumstances in which cutting off from a parent is the only viable option for an adult child age 18 and olderfor instance, in the case of past or present physical, emotional or sexual abuse from a parent.
Show less Being estranged from your adult son or daughter can be extremely painful. Repairing a relationship is possible, but it takes time and will require patience.